Hello there, dear readers of Abaddon Magazine.

Welcome to a column! The first of its kind on Abaddon Magazine. And just so we’re clear, there will be more of them. As many as it is necessary. As many as there are times when something or someone pisses me off this hard. Call it a vent or just bitchiness, doesn’t matter. Not to me anyway.

So, for starters, let’s get one thing straight. And I’m putting it in all caps so we’re absolutely clear:

WE ARE NO PROFESSIONALS!

Not even close! There are four of us in the Abaddon crew and out of the four of us, none is formally educated in writing. None of us has any musical education whatsoever. In fact, only one of us is a practicing musician. Well, practicing… Depending on who you ask (please don’t ask any of my bandmates).

We are complete and utter amateurs! We do this out of passion! No money involved, a couple of free CD’s (comparing to the number of published reviews, a dreadful minority) and a whole lot of fun. But there are some individuals bent on ruining even the fun side of editing a magazine.

Which brings me to the first issue of this column. Spoiler alert: there are two of them, but they somehow collide as they regard the same circle of people.

If you are looking for a guaranteed positive review, please submit your material elsewhere! We’ve recently come across such a request. Particularly, it was mentioned in the submission that if we do not like the material, we shouldn’t review it. I’m not even going into the reasons why negative reviews are important. But you are actually asking us to give your album time of our (extremely busy) lives and then not write a word about it?

Let me explain how the reviewing process works. At least on Abaddon Magazine. We’re very proud of this, to tell you the truth.

We do not judge a record by a single song on YouTube. Or a music video, cover artwork or a particular song you think is representative of your work. We mostly pick albums to review at random. Apart of the physical promos which always take priority. So, when we do take an album, we consider everything! From album cover, to biography, music, production and even a submission method at times. And it takes time. A whole lot of it! Sometimes it takes a whole afternoon or an entire day. Sometimes a full week or more goes by before a review is finalized and ready to be published.

Trust me on this, one spin of a particular record is never enough for a good examination. Here’s an example. The first time I heard “Spiritual Healing”, one of the pillars of death metal, I hated it. It was only after a number of listening sessions that I found it a masterpiece it actually is.

Hence, be sure that if you got a negative review, YOU FUCKING EARNED IT! It was thought through, examined and based on ABSOLUTELY SUBJECTIVE OPINION of the writer in question. Yup, there is little objective reasoning to be found here.

The same goes for all the positive reflections on this page, naturally.

So, what are you actually asking us to do when you demand positive reviews only? You’re literally asking us to waste a lot of our time on a record and not write anything in the end. That is NOT going to happen. We will not allow it. If that’s your idea of handling press, please, by all means, AVOID ABADDON MAGAZINE! It will only lead to more of these columns.

The second issue to be discussed here is the shitty attitude of a particular band. Let me explain in detail.

The band in question is among those who received a negative review on Abaddon Magazine. To be completely honest, I was the one who wrote it. But they just released their debut EP and we thought about interviewing them. Why not, anyway, we’re here to support, so let’s give them a chance to speak out. The interview was agreed upon, arranged and Ivona was kind enough to compile a bunch of questions and send them to the band. And then we just had to wait.

And wait we did, for quite a while, only to be informed that the band doesn’t have enough time to answer at the moment.

A BAND WITH DEBUT MATERIAL JUST OUT! Out-fucking-rageous!!!

Let’s have another explanation here, about how Abaddon Magazine works. Interviews in particular. Again, it takes time. A lot of time, since most of the interviews conducted by our small team involves an in-depth research into the whole history and musical legacy of a band in question. However big or small. And the interviews are always agreed upon, so the band knows the questions are coming and has the chance to decline the interview in advance. Just to spare our time. No hard feelings, of course.

Another thing, we do not believe in asking only simple questions which regard music itself, recording information, who wrote what and what does the composition process look like. Be ready for tough ones. The ones concerning your attitude towards the world around you, since that’s what being an artist actually means. Not just the artwork itself. If you’re looking for an interview on Abaddon Magazine, be prepared for a serious discussion.

Hence, the time invested in making up the questions.

And I’m not even going to discuss why it is important for a starting band to have a chance to speak. Not a lot of them get that chance. Even fewer waste them like this.

That will conclude this, the first, spiteful rant. 

Leaving you with this lovely message in song. Bye bye!!