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Label: MDD Records

Date: August 28th, 2020

I guess the jig is up. We need to pick the all-star German thrash metal combo. Let’s place them in Stuttgart, for instance. And let us go for a cliché of all clichés to start with. Name them Nuclear Warfare. Ignoring the fact that the actual band is 20 years old. They might as well be dated back to 1984. Though it would make them the originators of time travelling. Just for using the latest in production equipment for their recordings.

For the vocal duties, take Schmier and Gerre. Clone them into one person. Yes! We got it! Sounds nice, though the pitch shift between them still occurs, it still sounds cool. Oh, and place the bass guitar into his hands to Schmier the things up a notch. So, now is the perfect time to go looking for a guitar player. Mike from Destruction has those amazing lead melodies. On the other hand, Frank Blackfire offers that ‘take no prisoners’ harsh and brutal note. Fuse them and add a pinch of that mid-era Petrozza styled rhythm. Done? Perfect! Now, there’s a terrible conundrum with drummers. Fuck it, they all sounded pretty much the same, so take a pick yourself. There’s no mistake to be made. It will fit.

Give them a chance to compose together. With everyone pulling to their own side, you will probably get a German thrash metal album that will become a textbook example of what German thrash metal is all about. Speed, brutality, violence, hatred, headbanging… Then hand them a piece of paper and a pen and let them write some lyrics. War, blood, hell, nuclear detonations, poser killing, paroles about how thrash metal is the greatest…

Did we forget something? Hell, we forgot about humor! Tankwart? Sure, why the fuck not! Bring on the threat of being killed by a zucchini (sic!).

So, are we crossing the line of good taste? Maybe not, but we’re certainly on the brink of heading straight down into kitsch country.

With all jokes put aside, this album has been heard countless times. Everything here has been stripped off the classic records and pasted in a nicely fitted package for all the nostalgic freaks out there. If you consider yourself as such, and have extra money to spend, Nuclear Warfare is just the thing for you. If you consider yourself as such, but have no extra money to spend, just spin your favorite records once again. If you are not a thrash metal aficionado, just skip.

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